A Second Family
by Milou
Summary: The story of a girl who grown-up side by side with the Cena family. What will happen to her when her parents died and The Cena family take her in? *Completed*
1. Default Chapter

A Second Family  
  
A/N: Ok, this idea idea hit me while I was watching the John Cena DVD. I have no idea where it came from but I liked it. If you want me to continue it, I know there's not much here, Just review it because if I dont get reviews it will mean that fic sucks...I'll survive but just tell me OK? I hope I didn't get John's brothers's names mixed nor his parents. If I did just tell me I'll change it. Thanks for your time.

I began crying when I was in the plane, hiding from everyone I knew. I didn't want my friends to know how desperate I really felt. After all, it had took a long time for them to accept the american girl I am. But now, they were all friendly to me at the University, students and teachers included. My french was also getting better. But that wasn't a reason to work any less harder. I was in Canada to study, and study was all I was doing. Maybe I should have got out more, maybe I could have mixed with the students outside the school. But nothing mattered anymore. My whole world was upside down since I recieved that phone call.  
  
My parents were dead. It didn't sound true to my ears yet. It seemed that their car got hit by a drunk driver and they didn't survived the crash. The Police told me they didn't suffered though. Yeah, right! Like you don't feel pain when your car is crashed? As if you don't get filled with fear when you know your end is near? I can't believe that I'm now alone. My loving parents are no more. And I was finishing school this year. I would have come back to them this summer, after five years of absence. I sighed. The last time I saw them, touched them, was at Christmas. Oh, Mama, Dada, what am I going to do? The big house in Massachussett would feel so empty without them. I don't think I'll ever be able to live there anymore. I would probably have to sell it. But will I have the courage to do it? To separate from all my childhood souvenirs?  
  
It was a chance I had great friends waiting for me in my hometown. My second pair of parents as I have always called them, Catherine and John. To think about them brought a smile to my lips. It was a comforting thought, and I didn't felt so much alone now. Yes, mommy and daddy would be there for me ( Catherine and John). They had been friends with my parents forever and their kids had been brothers to me all my life. I was an only child, and the Cena family had four boys. Were we a bunch of crazy kids. I remember Mama used to be scared to see me beeing such a Tomboy. She wanted me to have more girl friends. But I never got along with girls. I prefered the company of boys. It always looked as we were one big family instead of two. Really young, I started calling Catherine and John, mommy and daddy, keeping Mama and Dada for my real parents. Their kids, Dan, John, Matt and Sean, were my best friends. We were the terror of the city, but I always managed to get out of trouble. I was such a sweet girl and a good student that no one ever really believed I could be such a prankster. But I was, and that's what made it so funny. I could keep up with them in everything, sports included. Except when they got into the Football team. Girls weren't allowed and I was too ashamed to try out for the cheerleading squad. I entered foreign languages studies instead.  
  
I don't know why, but when something dreadful happens to you, your mind tends to block it from you. I mean I should be grieving my parents but I found myself remembering all the good times of my youngest years. All the fun I had with the Cena brothers, all the adventures they made me live. I was the same age than the youngest of the boys, Sean, so the others were big brothers to me. They didn't have a sister so their protective side fell on me naturally. And the oldest one, Dan was only five years older than me. They treated me like I was one of them, no better no worst. That was until I grew up and changed into a real girl though.  
  
I remember the last year of High School. I had been away for the whole summer with my parents. And when I got back, I was somene else. I mean my body changed, I got my braces took off and got contact lenses instead of my glasses. And I knew I got beautiful too. I wasn't one of the boys anymore. At first, the brothers were a little akward towards me. But it was normal, they weren't used to think of me as a girl. A girl they could date, not the tomboy to play with all day. But our frienship had got over it. I was still the same person, my looks changed that's all. They changed too, I noticed they got bigger and more handsome. We were at the age that the opposite sex begins to catch your eyes. We only made one mistake through that whole growing up period, it was when me and Sean began dating. It didn't felt right but I guess we did it because we were so comfortable with each other. We broke up the night of the prom. I was moving in Canada at the end of the summer and Sean was also moving away to go into the Army. We both made the decision to remain friends, that's what we were meant to be after all. But as I think about it, maybe John had something to do with it too. I always had something for him. But I wasn't going to repeat the same mistake again. Friends are friends, never mix it with love. But the night of the prom something was about to happen between me and John....But it was five years ago. Too late to regret it, too late to even think about it.  
  
Besides, It still hurt a little that I rarely even saw him anymore. He was present at the Christmas party only a year out of two or someso. And we were now grown-ups, no more time to waist on teenagers's crushes. But I would need all the support I could get. I will be going through some hard days burying my parents and taking care of the house. It wasn't time to get my emotions mixed up.  
  
The pilot announced that we were at destination. I got up after the plane landed and waited for my turn to get out. Seing all the people reuniting with their family brought tears to my eyes again. I wiped them when I heard someone screamed my name, " Alex! Xandra! We're here sweety!".  
  
I turned around and saw mommy and daddy waitng for me, opening their arms in a welcome hug. I ran to them anf fell in their arms. It felt so warm it drove away the feeling of loneliness hanging above my head. I wasn't alone, I still had a family even if it was not by blood.  
  
" Oh, sweety, you're so pale, I bet you didn't ate at all today. Come on, I'll fetch you something once we're at home. I prepared John's room for you since he's away. Matt, Sean and Dan are waitng for you back home too. I won't have you going to your house alone dear. You know you're always welcome in the Cena home as it is almost your home too. Well, it is your home as long as you want to stay ok?"  
  
I nod, feeling exhausted from all the emotions. Cathrine kept her arm around my waist and John went to get my luggages. " Thanks mommy, thanks daddy." Hearing the old nicknames I used to give them brang tears to Catherine's eyes.  
  
" Yes sweetheart, now we're your parents. Come on, let's get you home to rest."  
  
And we left the airport, heading for the house. I don't remember a lot, I know they feed me and that I fell asleep. When I woke up, it took me some time to remember why I wasn't in my dorm in the University. My parents were dead. I let out a sob and put the covers over my head to cry. A hand rubbed my hair.  
  
" Shhh, Shhhh, Alex, it's alright don't be ashamed to cry."  
  
I peeked out of the covers to check who was in the room and opened my eyes wide.......  
  
To be continued if you'd like...............


	2. Back to the Cenas's House

_A/N: I would like to send all my love to my reviewers. ( Kim, Huntersgirl, Sydney,Nikki,john-cenalover,randysgirl,ladiijean29) and other people who takes liking into my stories! The day I posted this story, I was surprised to receive 7 reviews alert in my mail-box! My little story was liked! It gave me the will to continue it. Thank you for encouraging me, I never recieved so many reviews for a story! I'll do my best to honor that confidence you guys showed in me! on with part 2 now.  
  
_

I took the covers down from my face and looked up. My eyes filled with tears yet again as I saw Sean sat down on the bed rubbing my hair. He opened his arms and I hid my face in his neck. He was rocking me, allowing me to cry my pain out. We didn't need to talk, we were above that. Sean understood that the last thing I needed to hear right now was some crappy excuses about my parents. She needed love from her second family that was all. He knew she was the dearest person in his heart and he was grateful that their relationship did not destroy their friendship. Hopefully he could sooth her pain a little. The door opened again and Matt and Dan got in the room. The scene was touching. They both sat on the bed and also hugged Alex. Their little sister needed love and they were more then happy to provide it for her. The four of them were lost in a tender embrace. It made Alex feel better. Well, better enough that I could stop crying. I wiped my face and managed to smile.  
  
" Thanks guys, you are the best medecine someone could ever hope for. I'm really thankful to have you here with me."  
  
As I spoke, my heart twinched when my eyes caught a picture of John on the bed table. I wish he was here too. I wasn't sure why but I longed for him to be there. It's like I needed him, feeling I didn't get for many years. The pain was making me feel weak. I asked the guys to leave me alone a few minutes so I could dress up. When they closed the door, I grabbed the picture on the table. It was a picture of John wearing his formal clothes for the prom. I remember that John flunked one of his year of High School, so he graduated the same year than Sean and me.  
  
FlashBack The night of the Prom  
  
_"A Toast for the graduated" Cheered the parents as long with Matt and Dan. We all took a sip from our Champagne glasses. We had come to the Cena house to celebrate Sean, John and my graduation. We were to leave in a limousine for the prom shortly. My parents were so proud of me. Catherine and John were really happy too, as their last two boys were now out of High School. It was wonderful to share this special time with both my families. My big brothers kept kidding me about the fact I really looked like a girl now. In fact, they said I grew "Yummy". They were amazed by the fact I was wearing a long dress. They couldn't remember the last time I did and neither did I.  
  
We had to go throught the eternal picture taking session. John didn't had a date and he didn't wanted to tell me why. The parents took pictures of me and Sean, saying we were such a cute couple. Were we really? Sometimes I wondered if we were together only because it seemed natural? Because when boys and girls are close like we are, it's because they're in love. I didn't want John to fell left out so I grabbed him to be in the pictures with us. We made funny pictures, both guys arms wrapped around my waist, puting a corsage around both my wrists in the same time, or them holding me in their arms. There was a twinkle in John's eyes that made my heart go faster. It was the first time I noticed the warm looks he gave me. But he lighten up the atmosphere by getting into a wrestle fight with me. His dream was to be able to wrestle for real one day. Mama screamed to be careful, she was worried I would damaged my dress.  
  
We finally left for the Prom, in the big white limousine they had rent for us. It was a great party, John was elected the King of the Prom. I also received a special mention from the students besides the ones for my good grades. It was the " Sexiest Tomboy of the School", it made me laugh. Sean and me realised that we weren't made to be a couple. We talked it through when we got outside to breath some fresh air. Since we were a "couple", nothing really changed between us, except that we didn't go out with anyone else. Ok, we kissed a little but we haven't been able to go further. We realised we were the best of friends and that was all. He also admitted he was attracted to another girl. I gave him my blessing and he went back inside to ask her for a dance.  
  
I didn't felt sad at all. I just felt free somehow. I spent all my life hanging with the Cena brothers and had always been considered as one of them by the others kids. I never really had a chance to know any of the others guys outside of the sports field. None of them never really got to think of me as a real girl. But with the mention I received, i realised I might have been the one to put limits around me by dating Sean. It was a security line others never dared to cross. I stared at the stars and thought that tonight was the beginning of the rest of my life. I could be the person I wanted to now. It made me smile, who did I wanted to be anyway? I startled when I heard footsteps behind me.  
  
" Yo there Xandra! What you doing here alone?"  
  
" Just breathing, getting the heat out of my head bro. It's one crazy party up there."  
  
John nod, pushing me aside so he could sit beside me. He took his crown off his hair and gently put it over mine. I looked in his eyes as he did the same.  
  
" This crown should have been yours Xandra. You're the one who came a long way through all these years. They just elected the most stupid blond girl to be queen, it should have been you. To me, you are truly the queen of the school." I was taken aback by his words, he sounded serious. Everyone knew that John Cena was rarely serious.  
  
" But you earned it fair and square John. You are the start of the football team and you're winning all the competitions in body-building. You're not the little thiny boy who get picked on anymore..."  
  
" And you're not one of the boys anymore, you're now the sexiest Tomboy of the school. It means I'm not the only one who sees you for more than the girl hanging out with boys you know. But enough with the serious shit here, Sean will get mad if I keep you away for too long. He thinks I can't be trusted with girls. Come on girl, I have a surprise for you."  
  
He pulled me out from my seat and brang me back inside. Everyone cheered him when he got up on stage, never letting go of my hand. He gave me a microphone and grabbed one for himself. He was known for his frestyles before each matches and to the school show. Of course, he was to perform on the last night of childhood. But why having me on stage as well? I knew we could perform together some nice duets at karaoke nights in parties but tonight? What did he had in mind? But when the first notes were played by the hand, I forgot all of my doubts. It was my favorite song of all Dilemna We sang it together and the words of the chorus hit me, it was an odd situation.  
  
No matter what I do, All I think about is you, Even with or with my Boo, You know I'm crazy over you,  
  
God, was it me admitting my feelings for him or him telling me something? At the end of the song, he hugged me. I pointed out to him Sean kissing a girl on the dance floor. He frowned at me, not understanding what was going on. I just smiled and asked him to dance with me. He held me in his arms all night but at the end of the night, nothing was resolved. We weren't sure what to do. Well, at least I know I didn't. I couldn't move from Sean to John could I? If one was a mistake, the other couldn't be better. And I had no idea what was goin on in his mind. he kept checking Sean and Kara out. He didn't understand at all. Maybe he thought having feelings for me would be a betrayal towards his brother?He kissed the tip of my nose, wished me a good-night and we went our separate ways.  
  
_End of Flashback  
  
We never spoke of that night again. It was like nothing happened. But I still think that we had unresolved feelings to take care of. I shook my head, mad at myself. Why couldn't I get John out of my thoughts? I had been fine for years and now he wouldn't leave me alone. I had so many stuff to deal with now. Mama and Dada were no more. I noticed I've been crying again. Over John and what could have been or over my dead parents? I was so confused I didn't knew anymore. There was a knock on the door and Catherine came in. She held me in her arms, asking to come down to eat something with everyone. We were about to go downstairs when we heard yells. There was severals men screaming downstairs. What was going on? I could not take any more bad news right now. We exchanged a worried look and hurried downstairs.......  
  
_A/N: Alright, I'm done for now. Next part should be up soon as I got more and more into this story. You know the drill, Reviews are always important to me. If you don't like something, just tell me. Thanks for reading I appreciate it_.


	3. What's all the commotion?

_A/N: Thanks to all of you for the nice reviews. I would like to apologise about a little mistake I made. Joh does not has three brothers, he has four, That means they're five kids in the Cena family. But for the sake of the story, I'll still act as if they were four. But thanks to JohnCenasgurl for pointing that out to me. :o) I appreciate it and hope no one will get mad over my Oups, again silly mistake. French canadians girls like me get excited too easily and make silly mistakes lol.  
  
_I looked as catherine hurried down the stairs. I was not that eager to know what was going on. I was scared it was more bad news. But the screams soon changed into laughter. I frowned, maybe it wasn't so bad after all. As I got into the kitchen I saw Catherine and the others surrounding someone who was turning his back on me. I knew this silhouette, this lovely butt. Could it be? When he turned around, having heard my footsteps, I knew I was right. John Cena was facing me, a bright smile illuminating his pretty face. Wow! He had changed so much. He looked so strong and confident, more sexy than ever. He swapped me in his arms when he took a look at my face. I didn't resist and let go in his arms. Finally, he was there and I had the feeling everything would be fine now. I needed him by my side to be strong.  
  
" Sexy Xandra! Yo, Kiddo! I had no idea you would be here for a visit in the same time than me. It's good to see you, it's been way too long. You're gonna be in the first to know my bigs news. I'm glad you could hear this in the same time than my family."  
  
He freed me and I managed a smile. I didn't want to spoil his happiness. It seemed he had something important to announce.  
  
" Mom, old man, bros and Xandra, you won't believe this but I got a job."  
  
" You finally stopped your gay body-buildings competitions?" Asked Matt.  
  
" Yes, I'm done with that bro. Listen up, I got a contract with the WWE, I'm a professionnal wrestler now."  
  
Silent first fell in the kitchen. Was he joking? But his smile showed us he really had achieved his long time dream. Everyone spoke in the same time, congratulating him.  
  
" We have to go out tonight to celebrate this," Said his father." The Cena family goes out for dinner in style in your honor son."  
  
" Alex? I hope you're free tonight, I would love for you to come with us. Celebrating this event won't be the same if you're not here with us." Began John." If your parents don't mind of course? Would you like to invite them also?"  
  
He didn't saw the warning looks the others threw him. My head went dizzy, no one had told him yet! I couldn't tell him, to talk about it would make it real. And I didn't want it to be real, I wanted to keep on deniying it. As I almost fainted, he catched me his arms again.  
  
" What's wrong sweety? Look at me. Have you been crying?"  
  
He lifted my chin and see the tears I was trying to hide. I buried my face in his neck. Catherine made some tea and Dan tried to take me from John's arms to sit me down. But John wouldn't let go.  
  
" What is it Alex? Xandra? You know you can tell me everything. Weren't you suppose to be still at school? What happened?"  
  
Sean had an angry sparkle in his eyes. Why did John didn't noticed Alex wasn't able to say anything? It was obvious the pain was too great for her. He took me from his brother and made me sit as his mother served me hot tea. I gratefully took a sip, avoiding John's questionning gaze. Sean dragged him outside.  
  
" Come on Sean! What the hell is going on? I've never seen Xandra like this. She is so weak and sad. Just like if her best friend died."  
  
" You can say that again John. Except that change the best friend part for both her parents. So stop questionning her. She arrived here yesterday and has lots of troubles dealing with that fact yet. We're all she has left now."  
  
John stared at him, all happiness vanished. He didn't answered. He just stormed back into the house to Alex. He knelted beside her and held her. He didn't want to say a word, he just wanted to show her he was there for her.  
  
That made me feel better. I was surrounded with love in this house and it felt good. I don't know what I would have done if I had to go through this alone. I didn't noticed that the rest of the family quietly went to the livingroom.  
  
" I'm sorry Xandra. Sorry that I stormed here so unrespectfully. If you want to talk, know that I'm here for you. But if you don't, just tell me what you need and I'll be happy to do so."  
  
He went to sit in front of her. His mom had also put a cup of tea down for him. I smiled at him. Once the shock had passed, I was relieved he was there with me. He was the shoothing I needed.  
  
" There is something you can do John. Tell me about your contract. You're going to be a wrestler? That's wonderful, I'm proud of you, but I always knew that if you wanted hard enough, you would achieved your dream."  
  
He smiled at her. She had no idea how it touched him. She was really the only person that always knew exactly what was in his heart. And even though she was in a great deal of sadness, her beauty shined more than ever. She was a real angel. He couldn't believe he let their roads grew so apart. Why had he been scared of her? He didn't want to hide his feelings anymore, but this was no time for it. He would be her friend, confident, brother, for as long as it was what she needed. For a while though, once she's better, they'll have to talk. He didn't want to let her go again. He told her about his new life. He was glad to see her smile again, even more when she laughed at something he said.  
  
The family were relieved to hear Alexandra laughed from the kitchen. John had been able to take her mind off her parents. She scared them all when she almost collapsed. But no one knew John would show up and they hadn't been able to warn him about the sad events.  
  
After a while, I felt really tired, I needed to lie down a bit. John hugged me again and I felt like I never wanted to let him go. I was way too vulnerable, I had to be careful with my feelings. I didn't want to be hurt again. I left and went to John's room. As soon as my head fell in the pillow I drifted to sleep.  
  
John on the other side was more touched by the events than he let the others saw. His heart was out for Xandra. It was not fair how bad things happened to good people. Her parents were almost part of the family and it was a great loss for everyone. His parents joined him in the kitchen and told him how it happened and all the details for the funeral. In the same time, he thought of an idea. Something no one even noticed before. He knew how to help Alex. He asked his parents for the keys of the Leary's house and left. He would have a surprise for Alex when she wakes up....  
  
_A/N: There you go, a little short but I hope it was sweet!!!! Thanks for reading... _


	4. Surprise!

I tossed and turned in my bed, awaking from my nap. No, wait, I wasn't in my bed. I was in John's bed. I smiled, remembering he was in the house. I was awake but I didn't want to open my eyes and get up. I was comfortable just lying there. I heard a creaking noise and something furry and heavy jumped on my stomach. A wet tongue licked my nose as I burst out in laughter. It tickled. I opened my eyes and closed my arms around the dog on the bed. It was Wolfie! My very own beloved dog. He was very excited to see me again and so was I. The dear wolf-dog I hadn't been allowed to bring with me to Canada, so I had to leave him at my parents's house.  
  
" Hello boy! What are you doing here? Mommy's so happy to see you. Yes, you're a good boy!" I told him as I stroke his fur. I sat down in the bed because Wolfie was getting heavy. I heard someone clearing it's throat. I looked up and saw John sitting on a chair near the bed. He had a leech in his hands. I understood now how Wolfie got here. I flashed him a smile.  
  
" Thanks John. I missed my little boy so much. With all the events I totally forgot he was alone in the house now."  
  
As I said that, Wolfie got off me and ran to John. He sat in front of him and stared at the leech he was holding. I had Wolfie since I was little and John and him had always got along so well. He laughed and pet him a little.  
  
" Well Alex, I think we have no choice, we have to go out and walk the dog. Come on, get dressed."  
  
I nod and waited for him to get out but he just stood there, a big smile on his face.  
  
" What? Is something bothering you? I'll close my eyes, don't worry. Don't mind me, go ahead and change your clothes."  
  
" Yeah right! Don't forget I've known you forever John Felix Anthony Cena! I know you'll open your eyes before I'm done. So, if you please would GET OUT" I told him, laughing and pointing the door.  
  
" A'right, A'right, don't be angry. Come on Wolfie, the girl knows all my tricks."  
  
When I was done, I brushed my teeth and hurried downstairs, tying my hair in a ponytail. Catherine was in the kitchen, inventoring the refrigerator.  
  
" Hello Honey! You look better. I can't believe John went and bring your dog here. He didn't even ask for my consent before. But that's ok, as long as it helps you, I'll be fine with it. I wanted to ask you something before you go. My husband felt like cooking tonight instead of going out. What do you think of a nice BBQ? It's such a warm day. I told John he could invite some friends to celebrate but he reminded me to ask you first. We wouldn't want to sound unrespectful about your grieve my dear. But maybe seeing other people will help you get your mind off it?"  
  
I agreed, thinking this was John's day, not mine. My pain and loss will still be there tomorrow. Besides, she was right, it will do me some good. The world wouldn't stop moving and living because my parents were dead. I would have to face my friends one day or later. It was better before the funeral after all. But I was touched that John didn't want to celebrate without my consent. It was so thoughtful of him. He could be such a sweety sometimes. I hugged Catherine and joined him outside, taking Wolfie's leech from his hands. I wanted to run in the park with my dog. I let him go free and ran by his side. I was quickly followed by John. It was so relieving to ran and think about nothing but the freedom it gave me.  
  
After a while, I slowly stopped. I fell flat on my back into the green grass. I folded my arms under my head and stared at the bly sky. John smiled at me and lied down beside me. Wolfie was still running freely around the park. I didn't mind, knowing he wouldn't get very far.  
  
" So, Alex, how are you feeling now?" He had spoke softly, not wanting to disturd her thoughts.  
  
" I feel good, actually. I don't want to sound mean but the events haven't really sink in yet I guess. I mean, I didn't see my parents real often anymore. I have those crisis of despair but my mind seems to try to hide the facts from me, to protect me from the pain. But I know it's real, the funerals will be in three days and I'll have to make a decision about the house afterwards. But I think I'm going to drop school for this year. The Dean told me I could pick it up where I left next year. My mind won't be on my studies for a while. For how long will you be here yourself, John?"  
  
" I have two weeks off before beginning my training. I'm going to spend them right here, with you. I guess you need as much friends as you can get no? Besides, I also have something to work in Studio with DJ Chaos. I want to make my own entrance song, I don't want to be like the others. I'm John Cena, Doctor of Thugonamics after all. Things have to go my way."  
  
I smiled and realised that if he had changed on the exterior, he was the same pure heart inside. He was still himself, the original little boy I knew. It comforted me somehow. I needed to see that not everything had changed in my life. That some things were here to stay. John rolled on his side and stared at me. I couldn't help but stare back. We didn't need to talk, the moment was already magic. He picked up a small yellow flower and put it in my hair.  
  
But beofre either of us could move or say anything, Wolfie came and jumped on us. We laughed and got up, playing with him a little. Then we made it back to the house. John needed to call our old friends and I wanted to help Catherine organising the meal. I didn't noticed the frown Sean gave John and me when we got back. I went to the kitchen and helped Cathrine carrying all the stuff outside. Everyone was giving us a hand. It was so wonderful to see such a family's spirit. I was happy to be part of it. I still had a family....  
  
_A/N: Next part is the BBQ! And of course I have to talk about the sleeping arrangements! Where is Alex going to sleep now that John is back?? LOL! Oh, And I did tried not to end this with a cliffhanger but I have to stop the chapter somewhere no? Thanks for reading and dont forget to review.!!! :oP _


	5. What's up with Sean?

I was standing near John sr. and Catherine, as the chief of the family was cooking. He was flipping burgers and trying to grill sausages in the same time. I was holding the plates while the boys were serving the table. It was still very warm outside. I had put a light black dress and tied my hair into a bandana. Catherine's eyes filled with tears when she saw I've already began wearing black. I wanted to honor my parents by any action possible.  
  
John and his brothers had called a few of their friends. I wondered if it was ok for me to have fun. My parents just died, wasn't I suppose to be locked in my room crying? Instead I was here, in this house who would soon be full of old friends. Somes I haven't seen for an eternity. I shook away my guilty feelings, life must go on. I smiled at Wolfie who was running around the yard. Everytime he passed in front of John sr, he would stop to check if he didn't dropped anything to eat. Dan and Matt were in the pool and Sean was still checking if his mother needed help. I had lost sight of John. Wolfie barked and ran to the fence. That meant people were arrriving. John got out from the house, wearing his swimsuit. My eyes slipped on his body, checking every curve, every muscle. God, he was hot! I coughed and looked away, almost blushing. I had to control myself, he was driving me crazy. He greeted his friends who got all excited at his news. They congratulated him. But then they got all serious and had concerned looks on their faces. Good, John was telling them about my parents, I wouldn't have to do it myself. I didn't want to talk about it. Steve, Jay, Eric and Kevin came up to me.  
  
" Hey there sexy! I'm so happy to see you." Said Steve as he checked me out.  
  
" Yeah, long time no see!" Added Kevin  
  
" Did you enjoyed your time in Canada? Are you going to stay there long?" Asked Jay.  
  
They all spoke in the same time and I didn't know what to say. They made me laugh. But before I could answer, Eric said " Group hug to the baby sister" And they all surrounded me, hugging me. That was sweet but I couldn't breath. " Help, need air" I said. John came to my rescue.  
  
" Hey, easy on Alex guys. I know you missed her but we want to keep her here. Don't go trying to take her from me." He had a sparkle in his eyes.  
  
" That's so weird you all turned out to be so sweet guys. I mean, looking at you and your manners, we would never guess you're the same boys I grew up with. Pulling my hair, making me cry, pushing me into the pool. I'm glad to know you got mature, somehow" They grinned at me.  
  
" Well, we all gotta grow up sometime." Answered Eric, laughing at the souvenirs. They had made my life a living hell sometimes and they remember it too well.  
  
" But I don't want to grow up Xandra. I still want to be your little demon" Said John as a devil smile appeared on his face. I stepped back. He was up to something.  
  
" What do you want? John, stay away! I have no idea what you planned to do but I'm sure I'm agaisnt it. Step back, John! Wolfie, attack John!"  
  
Everyone laughed as Wolfie just looked at John and lied his head back on the ground. He would never attack his best friend. But me, on the other hand, I was trapped between John and the others guys. He quickly caught me in his arms and ran to the pool. I understood what was in store for me now. I screamed as he kept on running. But a part of me was appreciating the contact of his body agaisnt mine. Cold water wouldn't be such a bad idea after all. It would put my mind back in place. He jumped in the pool, still carrying me. Everyone was looking at us, laughing. John got out first and handed me his hand with a pouty lip. He was trying to get forgiven. But I wasn't done with him yet. I grabbed his hand and pulled him back into the pool. I couldn't resist, that was such a classic. As I got out, I felt his eyes on me. My dress was completely soaked and was glued to my body.  
  
But Sean just came from the house with a big soft towel. He held it in front of me and wrapped me with it. He covered me from all the stares that I was drawing on me. I put a mental note to have a conversation with Sean about his protective behaviour. He was acting weird, like I was some kind of doll no one was allowed to look at. I went back inside and get changed. This time I made sure to put on my bathing suit under my clothes, just in case. When I stepped into the hallway, Sean was waiting for me, leaning against the wall.  
  
" What's with you Sean? Are you affraid I'm going to fall apart or what?" I was begginning to get annoyed at his odd behavior.  
  
" I'm just checking up on you Alex. I don't think that John understands what you're going through. He's acting like a fool around you and I don't like it. You need time for yourself, and I want to be here for you. Would you like to get away tonight?"  
  
I stared at him , not knowing what to say. Why was he acting this way? Couldn't he understand that John was acting the way I needed him to? That John knew what was in my heart? I suspected that Sean had develop some kind of unresolved love about me.  
  
" Sean, I appreciate your concern, I truly do. But, please don't act this way with me. I don't need you to treat me like a doll, I need to deal with myself. I also need to take my mind of all this. I understand the world will not not moving because of my pain. Seeing old friends, beeing here with you all in this house, it's the best soothing I could ever ask for. I love you all so dearly, I don't know what I'd do if you weren't here."  
  
He sighed and looked away. Was it tears I saw in his eyes?  
  
" Sean, look at me. What's wrong?"  
  
He grabbed me and hugged me. He didn't want to let go. He was acting weirder by the second, he was making me uncomfortable.  
  
" Alex, I'm sorry" He said finally letting me go. " I don't know what got into me, I need to get away for a few hours. I'll be back later, I love you."  
  
He whispered the last part and left, almost bumping into John. He lefted an eyebrow at me, wondering what got into Sean. I shrugged, I didn't want to tell John that I suspected Sean to be still in love with me. That was the last thing I needed right now. John smiled at me, and told me that his dad had finally got some food ready. John walked in front of me and dropped his wallet. I picked up a picture that had fall from it. He tried to take it from me but I flipped it and saw it was a picture of me and him, taken before the Prom. He was about to grab me in his arms to fake a wrestling match and our eyes were locked to each other. I felt a lump in my throat and lifted my eyes to meet his. He smiled from the corner of his mouth......  
  
A/N: I'm too tired to go on, I need to go to sleep but I have plenty more ideas for the evening that is still coming. Sorry again I didnt updated before now. 


	6. Around the fire

John smiled at me and took the picture back from me. He tucked it in his wallet and grinned at me.  
  
" I always want to have the ones I love with me. Besides, It's fun to make believe that this hot chick was my date to the Prom. I love that pic, don't you?."  
  
I smiled, not able to say a word. I couldn't take my eyes off him. To know that a picture of him and me was always in his wallet, was somehow disturbing. Having discovered my true feelings for John was one thing, but to suspect that he actually shared them was scary. As long as I could convince myself that this was only some kind of chemestry, I could have acted like nothing. But if he loved me, things could get dangerous. I didn't want, I couldn't, I shouldn't fall for the guy I grew up with. For the guy that the family was almost mine, the family that took me in when I had no where to go. But I loved him so much! Now that I thought he had some feelings for me too, how would I be able to hide it from him now? I shook my head already too full of confusion and laughed nervously. John imitated me and rub my hair in a playfull matter. The tension had fall. We headed back outside and grabbed a byte to eat before it was all gone.  
  
John and Catherine got back inside, wanting to let the "young ones" celebrate as they said. After all the food had disapeared, it's incredible how much boys can eat, we got into the pool. But I didn't stayed long, the water was too cool for me. I wrapped myself in a towel and observed the guys as they were playing in the water. It reminded me of when we were young. All the time we spent in the pool, all the times I found myself thrown inside all dressed. The souvenirs made me smile. I also had a thought for Sean, we had good times together but we were the worst couple ever in my opinion. I hoped he would get over me soon. I couldn't bear to feel that torn up inside.  
  
But Kevin soon followed me out of the water and went to knelt besides the big fire place. It was like a signal, everyone got out and went to get wood. We would round up around the fire, just like old times. The evening was getting darker and colder. Matt came from the house with a warm sweater for his babysister. I gave him a kiss on the cheek, he was so sweet. We put blankets evrywhere around the fire and all sat down. John put one more on my shoulders, so I was able to tuck myself inside it. The others booed John and threw chips and popcorn at us. I blushed a little but covered it with a joke on how they were jealous because John had the idea first. We talked about old times, about John's new carreer, about my studying out of the country, it was very relaxing, just to be there. Some of the guys went to their cars to get their guitars. I loved so much when we all sing together around the fire. Eric gave his guitar to John, who was sitting near me. He began to play a familiar song, which made me feel all warm inside.  
  
Would you dance  
  
If I asked you to dance?  
  
John took his eyes away from his guitar and looked at me. The little grin he had on his lips reminded me of the night of the Prom. Tears filled my eyes. But I wasn't sad, I felt relaxed and filled with love. Kevin and Matt played with him.  
  
Would you run  
  
And never look back?  
  
Would you cry  
  
If you saw me crying?  
  
A sparkle was growing in his eyes, as his eyes were still locked on me. I lost track of everything else.  
  
And would you save my soul, tonight?  
  
I joined my voice to them, sending a message to John. He was the one that was saving me. Without him, I would be weak, I wouldn't know how to go on. I didn't want to play anymore, I was in love with John Cena. Wolfie seemed to sense my feelings, he came to lie down at my feets. I stroke his fur absently, his head resting on my knees.  
  
Would you tremble  
  
If I touched your lips?  
  
Would you laugh?  
  
Oh please tell me this.  
  
He grinned at me and I couldn't help but giggle, making his eyes sparkle even more. Eric through some marshmallows at me and winked. Something was growing between me and John. Everyone could sense it.  
  
Now would you die  
  
For the one you loved?  
  
Hold me in your arms, tonight.  
  
Without even realising it, I nod. I moved Wolfie from me and lifted my knees to my chin. I braced myself and rocked to the slow music. It was truly a magic moment.  
  
I can be your hero, baby.  
  
I can kiss away the pain.  
  
I will stand by you forever.  
  
You can take my breath away.  
  
His voice was getting so low, his eyes never off me. He sounded so promising. He was full of talent, he could really sing, not just rap. But I knew he kept his singing talents for special moments like this. Intimates moments with important people, just like the Prom. I joined my voice to them for the next part.  
  
Would you swear  
  
That you'll always be mine?  
  
Or would you lie?  
  
would you run and hide?  
  
Am I in too deep?  
  
Have I lost my mind?  
  
I don't care...  
  
You're here tonight.  
  
The song really looked like if we were addressing to each other, like a confession. The others had stopped singing and they were looking at us, smiling. I was somehow glad Sean wasn't here. I didn't want to hurt him, didn't want to feel guilty anymore. We both sang together, like we were all alone.  
  
I can be your hero, baby.  
  
I can kiss away the pain.  
  
I will stand by you forever.  
  
You can take my breath away.  
  
I let the tears running down my cheeks, not bothering to wipe them. Not bothering to wonder why I was crying. He answered to me.  
  
Oh, I just want to hold you.  
  
I just want to hold you.  
  
Am I in too deep?  
  
Have I lost my mind?  
  
I don't care...  
  
You're here tonight.  
  
I braced myself harder and closed my eyes. I had a lump in my throat. I was fighting the urge to cuddle in his arms. He softly sang the last part, almost whispering.  
  
I can be your hero, baby.  
  
I can kiss away the pain.  
  
I will stand by your forever.  
  
You can take my breath away.  
  
I can be your hero.  
  
I can kiss away the pain.  
  
And I will stand by you forever.  
  
You can take my breath away.  
  
You can take my breath away.  
  
I can be your hero.  
  
The others clapped and Eric took his guitar back as I heard a faster song playing. They started singing along. I kept my eyes closed, still caught in my mood. I heard John slowly approaching me on the blanket. He put his arm around my shoulders, making me rest against his chest. He wrapped his other arm around me, and I felt so confortable I never wanted to move from there. I felt safe, warm and loved.  
  
I kinda dozed off because I wasn't aware of the others leaving soon after that. I remembered where I was when John lifted me in his arms. I heard one of his brothers asked him where I was going to sleep since I've been using his room. He answered that he would sleep on the couch in his bedroom since I was already half asleep anyway. I closed my eyes again and when I opened them, John was lightly tucking me inside the blankets in his bed. He kissed me on the forehead and left me to arrange his own bed. I had so much I wanted to tell him but I couldn't fight the need to sleep anymore. My eyes closed agaisnt my will. But my head was still full of the lyrics John just sang to me.  
  
A/N: A little something for my readers, dont worry the night is not over yet. LOL and by the way, this was the first time I tried a song-fic and if I should never do that again LOL just tell me ok? Pretty please? Thanks a lot. 


	7. Nightmares

A/N: Thanks so much to all my reviewers (especially Kim who's review really touched me) I will try another song fic sometime, not in this story though, this one has grown on me so fast, Im enjoying it more and more with each chapter.....Thanks again everyone.  
  
Catherine felt a hand on her shoulder as she was watching the kids around the fire. It was her husband. She smiled as he wrapped his arm around her waist. She was enjoying the sight of what was happening just outside. If only Alex and John could be honest to each other. As a mother, she had always felt the feelings John was trying to hide towards Alex. They could be so good to each other. But on the other side, she hoped this little romance would not tear John and Sean apart.  
  
Since Sean's long time girlfriend left him, he had changed so much. He had lost his joy of life. He also seemed like he was falling for Alex again. But she knew it wasn't a good idea at all.  
  
" You'd love it if Alex became our real daughter huh?" Softly asked John sr. who had understood the situation too.  
  
She nod and kissed him. They went upstairs to go to sleep before the others came back in, she didn't wanted to be caught watching them.  
  
Catherine jerked up in her bed a few hours later. She had heard a scream followed by sobbing. It was Alex! But it quickly stopped when she heard whispering. She smiled, John was probably comforting her. She wanted to check up on the girl but if John was already there, she didn't want to spoil the moment. She layed back in her bed, cuddling against her husband.  
  
I don't remember what the dream was, only that it was really painful. I awoke screaming and crying. It must have been about my parents. I bit my lower lips, not wanting to wake John. But I felt a load on the bed and arms wrapped around me. I hid myself in his arms, crying even more. He stroked my hair silently.  
  
" John, I can't believe it!"  
  
" Let it out Xandra, let it out. It's awful to see you cover everything up. We know you're strong, but you need to face the facts. And you're not alone, my family's here for you. And I'll always be here for you too. "  
  
I leaned back and plonged my gaze into his. I stared at him in the dark. I knew he was sincere. But I also knew it wasn't time to lose control. I cried even more and hid myself under my pillow. I didn't want to cry in front of him. He took the pillow off my face and lied beside me.  
  
" Xandra, I know who you are, how you think. I can honestly say I'm the one who knows you best. I know you always felt like you needed to hide your weaknesses from everyone, that you thought you had to prove you were strong. But don't you know that with me you can be yourself? I'm here for you Xandra, I know you're strong but I hope you know you can show your pain to me. You need to get it out, cry your pain out, then you might find it easy to move on. I love you Alex, please always remember that."  
  
I cuddled in his arms, letting my head rest on his shoulders. I didn't bothered to wipe my tears anymore. John was right, I didn't need to hide my feelings. I felt safe with him, I trusted him. He wanted to help me, and he cared for me. Wolfie jumped on the bed, lying to our feet. John had his lips on my forehead. We weren't moving, not speaking, just sharing an incredible pain. I wondered when things would get back to normal for me. The worst was yet to come. The funerals were scaring me. Not to speak about going back to the family house. I let out a sigh, realising I stopped crying.  
  
" Don't you worry my Xandra, I'll stay besides you. I mean, I'll be with you for the funerals and if you need me for anything else, I'll be here too. I know you don't want to go back to your house, there's too much souvenirs there. I told you yesterday, I still have two weeks left before beginning my training and I wanted to spend them with you. I had no idea what drama happened to you though. But know this, I couldn't have been happier then when I saw you walking down down the stairs. I wished I'd be able to see you again, the separation had been really hard on me."  
  
" It was horrible for me too. Studying in a foreign country is harder then it seems first. I mean you get away from all the ones you love, friends or family. Beeing back here had helped me a lot. I realise I'm not as alone as I thought. You are the most important person in the whole wide world John, you're more than my best friend, more than a brother. I can't explain it, but I've always had a special place in my heart for you and always will."  
  
She felt his heart fasten a little.  
  
" Shhh! Please Xandra, don't say stuff you don't mean. Because now you're hurting, you need to be careful, I know you care about me a great deal. But when things will be settled for you, I'll be honest with you and we'll see from there where and what we'll be doing. Deal? I don't want to rush things between us, right now you need someone who loves you and is ready to stay besides you. Not a lover, but I love you too....."  
  
I smiled, grateful he felt the same way. We both knew it wasn't time to get involved in some sort of romance. But we couldn't deny our feelings either. All I needed right now was to feel safe and loved. Which I totally did, cuddled in the warmth of his arms. We quickly drifted back to sleep, never letting go of each other..... 


	8. the Funerals

_A/N: Thanks everyone to have the patience to wait after my updates... I try my best, but There's always something going wrong. this time, it was my computer crashing...Anyway, here you go._

I was staring at myself in the mirror. My eyes were fixed on the brush moving up and down my hair. The long black dress I was wearing made me shiver. The dreadful day had come. I couldn't believe that only two days ago, I was singing with my friends around a campfire, neither finally admitting my feelings to John. The only place I felt safe anymore was his bedroom. Every night now, we would sleep in the same bed, finding comfort into each other's arms. He was keeping the nightmares away from my dreams, and I....I had no idea what I could have been helping him from. Maybe it was some kind of weakness. Maybe he was scared about his contract with the WWE. He always seemed so sure of himself, but everyone had soft spots, weaknesses hid somewhere. Maybe John felt stronger by my side. I didn't know and I honestly didn't cared. At least not enough to ask. I respected his feelings. I loved him. It was some kind of comfort to speak these words to myself. I was in love with John Cena. I smiled at the reflexion staring at me in the mirror, there was such despair in my eyes.

How could life led me to all this? How was I suppose to go on now? Easy, said a little voice in my head, clung as hard as you can on what you have left. Your second family and John. I said his name softly out loud. "John." I was so lost into the reflexion that I didn't felt warm hands on my shoulders. " You called me?" His face was trying to stay serious but the sparks in his eyes told otherwise. I couldn't help myself, when I met his gaze in the mirror, I faced him and buried my face in his shirt. I tried my hardest not to cry while he was running his hands through my hair. He was making cooing noises to calm me down.

"Xandra?" His voice was hesitant. I pulled away from him and stared at him. A little smile was showing on the corner of his lips. He was hiding something behind his back. He showed it to me. It was a black tie. " Could you help me tie it please? I can't seem to get through it and I don't want to ask mother, she'll make fun of me."

" But John? You always said you hated ties, that you would prefer to die than wear one. You used to say that even on your wedding day, as much as you would love your future bride you would never wear one. What's wrong with you?"

He sighed, the smile disapearing from his face. " I'm doing this for you Alexandra, for your parents. They deserve it, you deserve all I can be..."

" You didn't have to.... They loved you the way you are, **I** love you like you are..."

My voice broke down and the tears threatened to come back. John made the move to hold me in his arms again but the door bursted open behind us, keeping us from moving. Sean came in, glaring at John.

" Aren't gonna leave her alone only two seconds? She needs to get ready, we're about to leave. Let her be alone for God's sake!"

We were both surprised by his anger. I saw John stiffen up, facing his brother.

" What's with the attitude Sean? Come on bro, that's still MY bedroom and besides, I needed help with this freaking tie. We're not in High School anymore so buzz off."

I frowned, things couldn't get that tense between those two, especially not today, I couldn't take it.

" And what is that suppose to mean **_brother?_**" Answered calmly Sean. His voice had sounded like a threat. I shivered, please Gods not today.

John threw a sorry look my way then answered. " I wish I didn't have to explain but you leave me no choice. Alex is not your girlfriend anymore, she doesn't need you to be protecting her, especially not from me. Stop trying to guess what she needs or don't need, she's all grown up. As for me, what I know about her needs is that she needs love right now. If I can help her that's fine and I'm sure she doesn't need us fighting over her right now. Understand?"

Sean took a step back and mumbled something like " If you think you're the only one loving her...." But he left so we weren't sure what he had said. John sighed and apologised, leaving me alone to finish getting prepared.

I remained silent all the way to the church. I wasn't aware of any of my actions. I knew John drove me there, leaving the rest of the family together. But I don't remember the ride at all. We sat up in the front, near his parents. I cried all the time, Catherine and John sitting beside me, holding my hands. The church was full of people mourning, my parents had been popular in town. Such warm and friendly people who would be missed. John whispered something in my ear, making me come back to reality. It was my time to go in front, I was suppose to make a speech. But the priest know I chose to do otherwise.

My last action for my parents would be to sing. They had always loved to hear me sing, wishing me to try a carreer in ShowBiz. But I didn't felt like it. I kept my voice for my friends and family. I had chose one of my favorites song from when I was little, the one I always sang to Mama on her birthday. I changed the lyrics to fit the situation. It was **_Mama_**, from the Spice Girls.

_She used to be my only enemy and never let to be me free,  
Catching me in places that I know I shoudn't be,  
Every other day I crossed the line,  
I didn't mean to be so bad,  
I never thought you become the friends I never had, _

John sr and Catherine didn't held their tears anymore. They remembered too well the birthdays we all spent together. When we were all happy, all together. When I sang this song to my Mama or on mother's day when it was for both women. Mama always said one day my daughter would sing it to me too. She would never get to see that now. She will miss on the joy of seeing my kids. A tear ran down my face and my voice almost broke. But a look on John's face gave me courage. His eyes were filled with love as he whispered the lyrics with me.

_Back then I didn't know why,  
Why you were misunderstood,  
So now I see through your eyes,  
All that you did was love,  
Mama I love you, Mama I care,  
Dada I love you, Dada my friend,  
My friends, My lovely parents _

Everyone held their breaths. I didn't knew it, but I looked like an angel on the stage, singing my heart out like that. All I could see was the love in John's eyes. That's what kept me going on without fainting.

_I didn't want to hear it then but I'm not ashame to say it now,  
Every little thing you said and did was right for me,  
I had a lot of time to think about,  
About the way I used to be,  
Never had a sense of my responsibility,_

I heard some of my old teachers say something about pranks, then a old comrade from school whispered " Sexiest Tomboy". There was laughter in the church at the souvenir. It lifted the tension. We all remembered my Mama had been horrified by that title. She wanted me to be like a little princess, not a tomboy.

_Back then I didn't know why,  
Why you were misunderstood,  
So now I see through your eyes,  
All that you did was love,  
Dada I love you, Dada I care,  
Mama I love you, Mama my friend,  
My Parents, _

I spoke the last few lyrics, my eyes up to the sky, like I hoped my parents could hear and see me. Like I believed I could see them looking down on me. A warmth covered me.

_Mama I love you, Mama I care,  
DaDa I love you, Dada my friend,  
My parents. _

That was all I could do. All my strenght was gone now. I made a step to go back to my place but despair suddenly covered me entirely. I began sobbing without control, it even hurted my chest and throat. Then, my vision blurred and I felt myself falling to the floor, only to be catched in-extremis by strong arms.....

_A/N: Evil Smile I couldn't resist another cliffie.... And the tension was too high for me. I hope you liked, more to come soon. Thanks and dont forget to review!!_


	9. and it became obvious

John saw Alex went pale and was up from his seat only half a second before she fell to the floor. He carefully put her head on his lap, rubbing her forehead tenderly. His parents were trying to get the audience to stay away. Everyone was worried and wanted to check on her. But she needed air, the emotion had been too intense for her. The priest motionned for him to exit by the back door. He held her tightly in his arms, wishing she'd be alright.

His brother Matt came running behind him. " I'll drive John, make her head stay still on the rear seat. We're going back home. Mom and dad will meet us after the ceremony." He shook his head, starting the car. " Poor lil sis, it's so awful on her. Do you think she will be ok?"

John didn't answered, his attention was all focus on Xandra. He was running his fingers through her hair, kissing her forehead, speaking of wonderful promises for her. She needed to wake up, she HAD to be ok. Matt smiled as he saw the scene behind him. He had never thought of John and Alex as a couple but come to think of it, it seemed obvious. They had always shared a special connection after all. John was the only one she would open herself to since her parents died. And about the evening around the fire, they could all sensed that something was growing between them.

Suddenly, something strucked Matt's mind. He remembered a certain night where John had been drunk out of his mind. He had never understood why and hadn't seen him in this state of mind ever again. He threw his brother a tender look. Now he understood what had happened almost five years ago.

_**Flasback...........**_

_The Cena brothers were knew to always be hanging at the same club every friday night. It was the major gathering of the week. On saturdays they could do anything, but each friday they would go to the "Thug", the best club of their little town. That particular night, John had been drinking more than usual. Sean had already left for the Army and Xandra had took her plane to Canada the same day. She would be studying away for five long years. The gang was slowly drifting apart. John kept on drinking, sadness in his eyes. Everyone was in a weird mood, they realised childhood was over. Since the Prom a few days before, everything had went so fast._

_John, Eric, Kevin, Jay, Steve, Matt and Dan were all talking about their souvenirs. There was no girl with them, friday night was their Men's night out, only Xandra was allowed with them. But she was gone now and they all felt it. They remembered how stunned they were to see her and Sean break up the very night of the Prom. They laughed at the "Sexiest Tomboy" Award she received, she had grown into a gorgeous young lady. She was probably going to break many hearts in her new school._

_John wasn't paying any attention to the conversation his friends and brothers were having. His eyes were blurry and he was lost in his thoughts. He called for another round of drinks. None of them were dancing that night, they prefered to talk. Often they were throwing worried looks at John, but he refused to tell them the reason of his bad mood. The evening passed, it was the time of the slow songs. The guys took the advantage to go dance with girls, leaving only John and Matt at the table. John raised his hand to call one last drink, not beeing able to stand up. Matt grabbed his hand._

_" Don't you think you got enough for one night bro? You don't usually drink that much. You usually don't drink at all to tell you the thruth. What's the matter?"_

_John shrugged, looking at a point behind his brother. " Nothing matters, that's the problem. What should I care about? I had a chance of getting something, but I didn't take it. I didn't see what I could have, cause I was affraid, I had too much respect.."_

_Matt raised his eyebrows. John was so drunk he didn't make sense anymore. But he kept on talking, so Matt listened, trying to understand._

_" I had all I ever dreamed of, but I let it slipped off my hands. Will I ever have a chance like that again? I never realised how much I loved her.. She is the other part of my soul, you understand that bro?"_

_" What the Hell are you talking about John? Since when do you like someone?" Matt was really surprised by this confession._

_" Don't mind, I knew no one could understand, only her....." _

_**End of Flashback....**_

And Matt had helped him get back to the house, never thinking of talking about that again. He had thought John was acting weird because of the alcohol. But what if it had been because Xandra left before he could confess his feelings?

They finally got back home. John carefully carried Alex to his bedroom, worried she hadn't opened her eyes yet. He went to the bathroom to wet a tissue and ran it accross her face. She began sobbing and he let out a sigh of relief. She was coming back. She opened her eyes and he hugged her. Matt stepped out from the room, closing the door behind him.

As he got downstairs, Sean stormed inside the house, looking mad. He tossed Matt aside and ran upstairs. Matt followed, panicked. Sean jumped at John's collar, yelling to leave HIS Xandra alone. Matt tried to interfere before they upset Alex even more but he was too late. When John shoved out of Sean's grasp, the younger brother lost it. He punched John right on the nose, making blood dropped. Xandra screamed and hid herself under the covers, still crying.

John got up and smacked his brother into the wall in the same time the rest of the family bursted in the room, wondering what was the commotion. Everyone held their breaths, expecting John to give Sean to beating of his life.......

_A/N: Sorry for the cliffie, I hope you're not too mad at me. Ill try to update as soon as possible. Dont forget to review pretty please?_


	10. The worst was yet to come

_A/N: Ok, since im feeling such in a perfect mood this week, stopped smoking thats why! LOL I want to make a special note. I want to thank all of you guys from the deepest of my heart for your reviews!! _JohnCenasgurl: _you are so supportive with all my writings and everytime I end a chapter, I think about you, thinking, Hum, I shouldn't leave her with such a cliffie...lol Thanks girl! _REM4488: _Your nice comments and interest always make me smile and want to update right away. _Shastalily: _I cant say how much I'm happy you decided to read my wrestling fics, being a part of the xenaverse, it touches me more than I can say. Thanks a lot you're awesome! _K.I.M:_ Ive said it before and ill say it again, you are so nice, every comment you make is really important to me..._Huntersgirl: _Youve been one of the forst to review my stories, im really proud you're still around. Thanks. _TDOT: _You rock girl and you know it! You also know how much of a friend you've became to me... I dont have enough spaces to talk about evryone, but all of the others, including, JOHNRANDYLOVER, Randy's girl, I love you all...its you guys who keep me going. I dont mean to forget anyone, im just getting too emotionnal at the time and I need to stop. But THANK YOU everyone, ill do my best to please you.....And to my dear cuzzie, you've become more like a sister to me and I love you so much....._

John sadly shook his head and loosen his grasp on Sean. He wiped the blood from his nose and held his hands in front of his brother's eyes.

" You see that Sean? That is not just my blood, it's also the same blood that run inside your veins. We are brothers Sean. I'm not going to hit you. Even tough I should, for making Xandra cry. But we're family, we should be above violence. I forgive you."

The other members let out a sigh of relief. They were proud and surprise that John had contained his anger. Catherine walked towards her younger son and hugged him. She dragged him out of the room, telling him they needed to talk. Sean followed her, looking ashamed at the bed where Xandra was still hiding. They could still hear her cries from under the covers.

Matt and Dan patted John on the back and left the room, closing the door behind them. They knew John would want to be the one comforting Xandra.

He sat on the bed, holding his head between his knees. He sighed deeply. How could things have come to this? For the first time in an eternity, he had been honest with the girl he had loved forever. He had showed his feelings. But it had to be the same girl his brother loved too. What was he suppose to do? He had remained in the shadows when Sean and Xandra had a relationship, he hid his feelings so deep he almost convinced himself they were gone. Even at the Prom, he had hesitated, not sure if the time was right. And then she left, and he had truly believed he would never get another chance of telling her how he felt. What she meant to him. But she had came back in his life. Ok, he had to admit it was in the worst circomstances ever, but it gave them a chance to finally be honest to one another.

That was the good side of the story, the bad side was Sean. John had no intention to hurt his brother, but he's had his chance with Xandra and it didn't work. Now, John wasn't going to let the occasion slip through his hands again. It was the last chance he had to build something with the girl he loved.

He moved the covers from her face, staring at her puffy red eyes, the sadness of her face and the tears running down her cheeks. He wished so much he could have taken it all away. But time was running out for both of them, he was leaving soon. With his thumbs, he tenderly wiped the tears from her face. He opened his arms and she sat on his lap, more than happy to accept the embrace they both needed so much. They didn't need words this time, love was more than enough.

When I woke up, it was to see John' worried eyes staring down at me. Was I good at nothing but to scare or worry people? Since when did I became so weak? What have I done? I had destroyed a family. My heart almost stopped beating when Sean bursted into the room and hit John. I thought they were going to kill each other.

I still don't know how or why exactly John managed it, but the explosion we expected from him never happened. He looked more sad than angry towards his brother. It was all my fault. But for once, I had the courage not to fell into despair, cause I could feel John reaching out for me. He needed to know I was there and that I loved him, even though we never said a word. For the first time, I felt like I was the one comforting him, not the other way around. What was he scared of?

Dan and Matt had took the first chance they had to leave the house. They didn't like the drama and wouldn't want to be forced to take sides. They let Sean explains himself with their parents while John and Xandra were comforting one another.

Sean was in the kitchen, looking down at the cup of tea his mom just made. She was looking at him with disapoitment in her eyes while John Sr. was pacing back in forth, mumbling.

" My dear boy," Started his mom." I don't know what got into you. You've been scaring Alex since she got here and now you're picking a fight with John? We love you Sean and we want to help you, but you have to tell us what's wrong?"

He stubornly kept his eyes down. Sean knew he was acting like a teenager but he was so confused he didn't cared. Had he ever stopped loving Xandra? He couldn't find the answer.

" Sean," Went on Catherine." For Alex's sake, we need to clear things out. She was suppose to come here to grieve in peace, not to find herself caught between you and John's affection for her."

" But what am I suppose to do mom? I know she's scared, I know she's hurt. But John stole her from me, should I just sit back and smile? Don't I have all the rights to feel angry?"

She sighed before answering. " My dear boy, John didn't steal anything and especially not anyone from you. Your relationship with Alex ended almost five years ago. I think your feelings got confused because you cannot bear to see her suffer so much. I can also understand your jealousy towards what's growing between her and John though. But he didn't stole her from you. I've watched all of you grow up and it pains me to see what it had to came to, you know. I've always knew who would end up with her and that it wouldn't be you. John and her had always undertsand each other better than anyone else, even as kids. He was always willing to protect her, they would share everything. I've guessed really soon that the day would come where they would have to realise the true nature of their feelings. And even if it hurts you to hear it Sean, I'm glad that day finally happened. It is helping Alex deal with her parents's loss and it will help John while he'll be away. They belong together, always had. Sean, your father and I know it, you have to accept it and they still have to understand it. She is like your sister, she needs her best friend back more than ever. Please, don't make her regret going out with you when you were in High School."

Sean nod, understanding what his mother was telling him, he knew she was right. Tears filled his eyes. He realised he was indeed jealous of John, but not really because of Xandra. He was jealous of John's strong side, his confidence. He also had, he decided to admit the thruth to his parents, something that had ruined the last two weeks for him. That's was what truly got him scared and confused.

" Mom, Dad, I have something to tell you. I'm scared, I really am. My Unit has been called to Iraq I have to go there. I don't want to go. What if I never come back? I don't want to die, I dont want to loose any of you."

His father stopped pacing and his mom let out a gasp. Their youngest son was sent in Iraq? God, have mercy on this family, it was a nightmare after another. They understood now Sean's actions. He was scared so he was hanging on everyone he cared about. The thought of loosing Alex to John had went further than just jealousy, he had simply believed he would never see her again. His parents went to hug him, whispering comforting thoughts. John Sr. invited them to a fancy restaurant, that way they would have time to talk all of this over. While it would also give time to Alex and John to talk too...

In John's bedroom, we were still cuddling. In fact, John had fallen asleep only a few minutes after I began to run my fingers into his short hair. He had seemed so lost it had broke my heart. Was he having second thoughts about me? I didn't want to hurt anyone in the family. Not anymore. Never again.

The Cenas had always been a loving family and now all of this harmony was gone by my fault. Only because I did the only thing I swore myself never to do, admit that John was the one I always loved. I knew it would be hard, but I had needed him so much. I wanted him to love me. And he did, and it broke his family apart. So it might have been wrong after all.

There was only one thing for me to do to make things right. Wolfie seemed to sense my decision because he sat at my feet and looked at me. I smiled and scratched him behind the ears. I got up and quickly gathered my clothes and accessories and threw them into my luggages. I took the dog's leech too. I stared at John, still sleeping. I fought the urge to join him. to feel him against me. But I sighed sadly, they deserved to be happy. They were the perfect family, the only mistake they've made was to take me in. I couldn't bear the responsiblity so I would take care of everything. I put the first and last kiss ever on John's lips. He smiled in his dreams. He was so adorable and I loved him so much.

My heart and soul were torn apart just at the thought of leaving him, but I had no choice, for the sake of all the Cenas. I softly close the door behind me, Wolfie at my side. It was only when I got in the street that I allowed my unshed tears to fall down. I didn't dare to look back, affraid to loose my courage. If I did, I would run back into John's arms. But I couldn't do that. I had to be strong. But how hard would it be? Facing the future alone, and even worst, without John???.Was it a future I wanted to have?.......


	11. Gone

John yawned and streched his arms to pull Alex closer to him. But he only found a pillow. He opened his eyes, surprise that she had awoke before him. He usually hear everything that goes on in his room. He sat up in his bed when there was a knock on the door. He checked his watch, it was already evening.

'' Come in! ''

He answered as he grabbed a jersey and put it on. Alex was still no where in sight and he was sure she wouldn't bother to knock. He looked up as the door opened and saw Sean shyly get in.

'' What's up bro?''

He wanted to make Sean understand there was no hard feelings between them.

'' I'm beeing shipped to Iraq John. I'm so sorry for acting the way I did. I was just so confused.''

Sean was barely audible, he was greatly embarrassed that he acted like a kid earlier. He truly hoped his big bro would understand and forgive him. He also hoped he would be able to patch things up with Alex, he probably scared her. Catherine was right, their little sister needed love and affection, not two brothers fighting over her. And Sean knew too well that it would be hopeless to try to win her over John. His story was over with Alex, it never really was a good romance. Her heart had always belonged to John, he was able to admit it now.

John looked at his younger borther, rasing his eyebrows. Iraq? So that was why he acted like that? Man, Sean must have been so freaking scared.

'' Sean, I'm not mad at ya, you know that, right? I told you, family matters to me more than anything. I had to be a little rough with you and I'm sorry, but it was for Alex. We deeply shocked her lately. We weren't helping her as much as we could have. Come here....''

The two brothers exchanged a hug, which was stronger than any apologies. Sean sat down with John and they talked, like they haven't in a long time. Talked about their lives, their hopes their dreams. Only one subject didn't came up, Alexandra. Sean wouldn't have minded, but John wasn't ready to spoke his feelings outloud. He was only beginning to understand them. But he also noticed that Sean was nervously running his hand through his hair, looking around in the room.

'' Hey Bro? What's still on your mind? Affraid Alex is gonna come in here? Haven't you told her what you told me? She'll understand, don't you even worry about that. She's the most sensitive person in the world. Her heart is so full of love, I can almost not believe it...''

Sean's first reaction was to smile at the soft expression and the tone of voice John changed when he mentionned Alex. Man, he was truly in love, how come no one noticed before? But then, he took in what John just said.

'' Isn't she with ya? When we left you were both sleeping, we didn't disturbed you. I know Matt and Dan left a few hours ago, but I don't recall she left with them. Where's Wolfie by the way?''

They both looked at each other, worry growing in their eyes. John stood up and opened his drawer. No girl clothes anymore. He ran to the closet, nothing there not belonging to him, not even a luggage. He opened the door and whistled.

'' Wolfie! Come here my boy, where's your mommy huh? WOLFIE!!!'' He looked at Sean. '' Something's wrong my man, come on, I gotta see mom.''

They ran downstairs, where John and Catherine were drinking a cup of tea, again, chatting peacefully. Catherine looked up, feeling that something was wrong.

'' Is everything alright my boys? You settled your arguments?''

'' Mom, do you know where Alex is? She and Wolfie are nowhere to find. I woke up and she was gone. No note, no nothing, she's just vanished. She even took all her stuff with her. Did Dan and Matt said where they were going? I dunno but maybe she went with them?''

Catherine's smile disapeared from her face. '' What do you mean her stuff is gone? Why would she bring her stuff if she went out with your brothers? Anyway they left before we even did, while you were in your room, comforting one another. Honey?''

She grasped her husband's hand in an attempt to be stronger. She was scared. Her husband make a cooing noise and got up.

'' Alright everyone, we cannot go into a panick state. We have to wait for the boys to come back, Alex probably needed some fresh air and they took Wolfie out for a walk.''

They all tried to interupt him. It made no sense. He raised his hands in the air.

'' Listen up you lot. I said no need to panick just yet. We need to keep our heads cool in case we need to act. I'm still the chief of the family and that's what I've decided. Agreed?''

'' Alright Dad, you finally put your pants! We're proud of ya. So what's the crisis now?''

They all turned on their feet to face Matt and Dan who had just came inside the kitchen. They were completely soaked.

'' Yeah I know Mom.'' Begun Matt. '' We'll go change right away if we don't want to be sick. We got caught up in the rain that's why. But why the low faces? Don't tell me someone else died?''

Catherine threw a look at her husband like '' Can I panick now?'' He just walked besde her and held her tight. John grew mad.

'' Was Alex with you guys? Did you saw her or Wolfie? Come on, tell me!''

Dan shook his head. '' No, bro, she was with you when we left. We haven't seen her since that. Why? Did you lost her or something?''

'' Stop joking around!'' Exploded Sean. '' This is serious. You know how vulnerable she is right now. We have to find her, who knows what she's capable of doing? Where could she have gone?''

John Sr. took back the control of the situation. '' Alright guys, we all sit down now. We will make a list of all the places she could have gone, then we will split up and try to find her. We'll stay up all night if we have to, I'll even go to Canada to get her back from her school if that's where she went to hide. Our little girl needs us, we're not going to let her face this alone. Even if she thinks she's strong enough, she's not. Come on now, we've got work to do.''

I was curled up on my parents's bed, listening to the sound of the rain on the windows. The storm going on in my heart and soul seemed to have gotten outside too. The scent of my mother's perfume was filling my nostrils. This was the place where I felt their presence the most. Why have I ever thought that coming back here would be difficult? It was soothing, I almost felt like they were still here. My dad's cologne was still floating in the bathroom, like he had just left for work. Everywhere in the house, my parents were felt. Even Wolfie remained incredibly quiet and still, curled up at my feet. Maybe he understood more than a dog was suppose to, maybe he just appreciated to be on the bed, which he had never been allowed to before.

Before. What was life before? What's a normal life suppose to be like? I tried my hardest to remember, but I couldn't. Tears were still running down my cheeks but I couldn't feel them anymore. I didn't cared anymore. I was comfortable here, alone with my pain, trying my best to bring my parents back. When I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, I could almost pretend they were. Oh, deep inside I knew they weren't, that they couldn't ever be back. But it was comforting to imagine them here. My mother stroking my hair, my dad watching over my sleep. Why was I doomed to loose everyone that mattered to me? Mam, dada, John......

I knew I couldn't stay here long, people would know where to find me. I had to go back to school. I could always rent a little appartement near campus so I could keep Wolfie with me. But now that I was in this house, where I've been raised, where me and my parents were so happy, I couldn't convince myself to leave. I had this strong feeling like I wanted to raise my kids in here. The day where I would have a family of my own, I wanted them to grow up here, in this peaceful town where I had been so happy. This town, this house, they were the only things that kept me hoping. Hoping for a future, hoping that the sun would shine again. But without John? Would I ever be able to go on?

_A/N: I am sooo sorry it took me so long to update. But now that I'm back on the road with this story, it shouldn't take too long anymore. I got my ideas back in place, so I know where to go from here. I hope you'll still like my little story!!! Thanks for all your nice comments everyone!_


	12. Pain from the past

They had searched everywhere, but still, no sign of her anywhere. Every hour the family would report to the house. The parents had finally decided to stay home, waiting for their phone calls if they found her. Matt and Dan were gone to the airport, Sean was checking every spot in town. John had tried to think his hardest about where she would go. He went to their old house in the woods, the park, even the School. Seeing the Football field reminded him of the night of the prom. And remembering the night of the Prom made him think on how desperate he felt when she said good-bye beforeshe leftfor her new school.

_It was the night before she left. She was putting the last touch to her luggages. He had decided to visit her one last time, not wanting to go to the airport. He knew it would have been too hard. Her parents greeted him and told him she was in her room. He went and leaned on a wall, staring at her. Her hair was down, she was humming a song. Strangely enough, it was the song they sang together at the Prom. She was so beautiful. He couldn't take his eyes off her. She was taking the pictures from her mirror. Smiling at the memories some brought up to her, she was sometimes caressing the smiling faces of her loved ones. One in particular seemed to catch her attention. She brushed a tear aside and put the picture in her pocket, not with the other ones, John noticed. He stepped in the room and her gaze met his._

_He had had the worst time seeing the pain in her eyes. He had to force himself not to ask her to stay, to tell her he didn't want her to disapear from his life. But he didn't felt ready. He couldn't ruin her plans by telling her what he had just found out. And he couldn't tell her how he felt, after all, she had just broke-up with his own brother. But she was moving so far away. Canada, he'd never been there before but hated the foreign country for taking her from him. He sawllowed all his pain away and faked a smile._

_'' Need any help Xandra?''_

_'' I'm almost done anyway, thanks for asking though. What are you doing here John?''_

_'' I came to say Good-Bye lil sis. I won't be at the airport tomorrow, so I thought I should come tonight instead. Am I bothering you?''_

_The pain in her eyes widened. Was it his harsh tone or the fact he wouldn't be at the aiport? Did it even mattered now? They had no idea if they would see each other again. Of course they would, but when? And how much would they have changed from this day on? So many questions that might forever remain unanswered._

_'' Of course you're not bothering me John. I'm happy you came to see me. I'm gonna miss you so much you know. Come, sit down.''_

_She patted the bed next to her. He sat down, hating the silence that now took place between them. There was so much they couldn't talk about, it was putting tension in the air._

_'' What about you John?'' She softly ask, avoiding his stare._

_'' What about me?'' _

_'' What are you going to do now? Are you going away to try out those amateur Wrestling federation until someone discovers you and make you a WWE Superstar? I know this is what you want to do.''_

_'' I have no idea yet. Maybe, maybe not, listen I....I, can't stay long, I have things to do.''_

_''Oh...I see....''_

_He hated himself for his cold tone, but he was retaining so much, that was the only way he was able to act. He got up and held his hand to her. Why in hell was he leaving? He wanted nothing more than stay with her all night but something forced him to leave. he wanted to escape the pain, to get used to the idea of her beeing out of his life. He would never be able to make it through._

_'' Gimme a hug lil sis, and Good-Luck in everything.''_

_She got up and they hugged tightly for very long._

_'' Promise me one thing John, please...''_

_'' Anything for you Xandra, what is it?''_

_'' Promise me to never give up on anything and always chase your dreams. I believe in you and I know you'll succeed. Just stay yourself and everything that has to happen will happen k?''_

_He tightened his embrace, not wanting to let her go. He was losing his best friend, his soulmate. He understood it now that he would never be able to find someone like her ever again. She was definitively his everything._

_'' I promise sis.'' A promise he was already breaking by letting her go without telling her the thruth. A promise he was breaking by letting her go.But she would never know. He would never break her faith in him, like she could never do anything to fade the love he felt for her._

_'' Stop calling me like that...''_

_Tears were running down her cheeks now. He saw it as he broke the embrace. It was almost too much for him._

_'' Why? Aren't you like my sister?''_

_She shook her head. She sighed and wiped her tears._

_'' Yeah, if you say so. That's what I'll always be for you John, your best friend, your sister...''_

_Was it him or the word seemed to hurt her? He had to go, he was seeing things. He was ready to believe that this was as much painful for her then it was for him. Almost ready to believe they were doing a hudge mistake right now. he had to go or he would break down. _

_'' I love you Alex, please take good care of ya..''_

_And he left her stand there alone, not sure if he wanted to know what she had answered back......._

Even now, it was painful for John to remember the scene. Has she really said she loved him back? If yes, in what way did she meant it? He threw his fists in the air in anger. Where was she? He needed to see her right now. No more games, he would tell her how much he had always loved her. He wanted to be there for her.

He quickly got up and searched his pockets. An idea had strucked his head. What a fool! He had forgot to check the most obvious place of all. Her house. He had the keys, he could always go and check it out.

He ran through the park, not caring about the rain, the weird looks he was getting. Yeah, he was wet, he was running in the rain. But he was running after the love of his life, he was running to get his happiness... he only wished he hadn't let it slippped through his hands.....Alexandra, please be there....

A/N: Sorry for the cliffie, but I just got a few ideas back. I was so lost with all my fics, i thought I should stop writing. But I'll go one day at a time and I might make it at updating everything... Thanks for reading...


	13. Safe and Sound

A/N: Here we go again. Nope, the story wasn't dead, neither was I. My muses left me for a long time, but I just got them back, so I'm working my ass off to try and update all my favorite stories. Let's hope I still have some readers, and hopefully some of you will review, giving the courage to update more again, cause I'm already working on the next chapters...

He stood on the porch of her house, trying to get his spirit back to normal. His heart was beating fast. What if she wasn't there? There was no light inside, no sign of life. But something deep in his heart was telling him she was there. An invisible force made him unlock the door and step inside the house.

It was so peaceful, so quiet. Well, except for the sound of the rain on the roof and the windows. His heart was beating fast, like it wanted to jump out of his chest. His hands were wet, he was so nervous. He still had no idea what he would be telling her. But he had to be by her side. She had to understand that they all loved her and that they wanted to help her through all of this. He was in love with her, had always been, even though he only just admitted it. But she had to hear it from his voice, to understand that he would remain at her side, no matter what. He was ready to do anything and everything for her. He would help her deal with her pain. He had to be honest with her. He was not going to let her leave ever again. She belonged to him, always has.

He slowly climbed the stairs, not making a sound. He didn't want to scare her. He was sure now that she was in the house. Where else could she have gone to? He pushed her bedroom door open, holding his breath. His heart sank, she wasn't there. He sat on her bed, holding his head in his hands. Think John, think. Where was she?

A cold tongue licked his hand, making him jump up. WOLFIE!!! He had never been happier to see that dog. It was the sign he was waiting for. Alex was somewhere in the house, cause the dog couldn't have been here if she wasn't.

"Show me boy, where is she?" He whispered to the dog, feeling silly thinking the dog would actually understand and help him. But Wolfie actually stared at him and got out of the room, making John follow him. He sat down in front of Mr and Mrs Leary's bedroom door and let out a little whimper, like he didn't want to go in.

John took a deep breath, ready to go in. He had no idea why, but he was scared. He'd never been that scared in his entire life. But scared of what exactly? But before he had time to sort his feelings out, a big clash of thunder sent him back to earth. And it sent Wolfie running to hide back under Xandra's bed.

John followed him, just long enough to call his parents to reassure them. Yes, he found her and she was OK. He didn't say where they were, he needed to be alone with her, in case she wanted to escape again.

He felt a little guilty, because he didn't know if she was ok for real. But she would be, that was all his family needed to know.

He slowly opened the door to the bedroom and when a lightening struck, he could see a shivering form curled up on the bed. His heart stopped and he ran to the bed, kneeling down in front of it.

He wasn't sure what to do, how to comfort her. Her hair was soaked, she was shivering from the rain and she needed to get out of these clothes fast. He ran his hand across her cheek, not worrying about the tears forming in his own eyes at the sight of her pain.

She opened her eyes, feeling his presence, as always. She made a faint smile, and then tried to pull away from him, but he just couldn't let her do so.

John was here, he wasn't suppose to be here. I wanted my parents to be here, why weren't they? I started crying again, shivering. I tried pushing him away but he just wouldn't.

"You found me John, why do you always found me? I was supposed to run away for good, stop ruining everything for everyone. I was supposed to run away from you, like I did so many years ago, but you found me, again. Please go away, I can't love you, I'm coming between you and your family. I'm not worth it, go away..."

She kept mumbling like that, breaking his heart. But he wouldn't let go. She was so scared, thinking she did something wrong. He sat on the bed and tried to hold her tighter. But he remembered her clothes were completely soaked and so were his.

" Xandra, please, I'm not leaving, I'm not letting you out of my sight ever again. I love you, always have and always will. I've never been strong enough to admit it or to say it out loud, but now is the time. I let you escape me once before, I let you fly away and I almost lost you forever, but not this time, not when you need me the most. But you gotta let me help you, open yourself to me, just a little, let me help you feel better. You gotta get out of these clothes or you'll get sick."

" I don't care about getting sick. Actually, I do. I want to get sick. I want to get sick and die. I want to die so you will be all free of me and be a happy family again. I want to die and be with MY family. I want my dada and my mama. Out of the way, I want to die!"

I suddenly got up, not sure of where I gathered the strength to do so. But I wanted to go outside, get lost in the rain and find my parents back again. But I never made it to the door. John was too quick for me.

John was true to his words, he said she was not going to get out of his sight. So she wouldn't. He grabbed her before she could reach the door, not too strong but just enough so she would turn to him. He ran out of words to comfort her. He couldn't do anything but to stare at her green eyes. He was lost in them. But she tried to escape again.

He cooed and took her face in his large hands, calming her down.

I locked my gaze in his and whispered his name.

Neither of us would ever be able to say what took over us or who made the first move. We just found ourselves kissing passionately, unable to stop. I remember him carrying me to the bed, while the thunder was still making an incredible concert and the only light shining was the lightening startling us every few minutes.

The wet clothes soon found their way on the floor and we cuddled into my parent's bed. We were starving for each other's body, we wouldn't have been able to stop even if we wanted to. I wasn't crying anymore, he wasn't feeling guilty anymore, we weren't fighting our feelings anymore.

It was a perfectly magic moment, despite the circumstances. The lightening storm was covering every sound two lovers make when they discover each other for the first time. Even when these lovers have known each other for ever.

That's how we spent the night. That's how I let John Cena comfort me over and over again…………


	14. Chapter 14

_A/N: Here it is, finally, the final chapter, the end of my story. I procrastinated about that one for so long, because I did not want to say goodbye. I planned to have many more chapters, more drama, but then I thought against it. If there was ever a time for a fluffy happy ending, this is it __J_

_And I also have been up to my neck in wedding planning stuff; my mother is getting married in a couple weeks, so I've been spending hours everyday on the phone with her helping out. (She lives like 10 hours away from me) I have also been working my butt off on a Toast for the reception, so my mind has been filled with thoughts about love and all. So naturally this story came back to life in my mind __J_

**Final Chapter.**

_**18 MONTHS LATER…..**_

It was the night of _Summerslam_, a warm, beautiful August summer night, the whole extended Cena family had gathered around the pool. The proud John Sr was grilling burgers and hot dogs, with a giant grin on his face. Friends and neighbors, and all the kids were present to celebrate John's accomplishment, a major match in one of the biggest PPV of the year.

Everybody was in a good mood, especially Catherine, who kept telling anyone who'd listen that Sean finally came home last night, this time for good. Everyone was slowly settling down, starting families, for the joy of John and Catherine who couldn't be happier to be Grand-Parents.

About 6 months ago, Matt had married his long-time girlfriend Karen, who was now expecting, Sean was looking to find a place of his own in the neighborhood, and Dan had just proposed to Kelly a few weeks ago and they would be trying for kids after the wedding.

Same was going around for their childhood friends, Kevin's Mary was pregnant, Steve was madly in love with Sanya and thinking of proposing, Eric had just started up his internet company and was very successful, actively looking for love. Although all the girls kept setting him up with friends and family, he was still looking for "the" one. And Steve and Krista were expecting their twins by the end of the summer.

As I was lounging by the pool, sipping a cold glass of iced tea and absent-mindedly patting my belly, I couldn't help smiling. I was proud of my family. I was proud to be part of thisfamily. We have been through so much. I have been through so much. But because of everyone gathered here, I was happy now. Thinking of my parents still hurt of course, I still missed them a lot. But the hurt and pain had mostly been filled with love. I had made a life and a family of my own.

After a couple of weeks, helped by my John, I finally started to put my life back in order. I decided to move back in the family home, refurnishing and re-arranging it to my taste. Living around everyone I loved was just perfect for the kind of life I wanted. I got a lot of quiet time for me, to write, which was what I'd always wanted to do in the first place. I was putting the final touch on my first novel, and my editor was pressing me to start another one. And I was still taking on a few free-lance translating jobs.

John was home as often as he could; my house was his house too, although we would also spend a lot of time at his parent's whenever he was in town. We were happy and in love, relieved to finally be in a healthy relationship.

My "brothers" and "sisters" were always dropping by when he was away, to keep an eye on me and make sure I didn't need anything. Of course I had Wolfie to keep me company too. But I had a feeling that I was now second in my big old dog's heart.

As to confirm my thoughts, a light giggle pierced the quietness around me, and Wolfie immediately raised his head and licked the tiny hand that was reaching for him.

I grinned, looking proudly at my little Kaysee, while she was grabbing handfuls of fur, babbling at Wolfie. My little princess was about to be 9 months-old and she was the love of my life. She was also the reason I had stopped traveling with John, I wanted her to have a stable environment. At first I had been worried that father and daughter would grow estranged, but no need to worry, those two absolutely adored each other.

When we first realized I was pregnant, we were so happy, it only brought us closer. Even though things were moving a little bit fast, I mean, we weren't officially living together yet and we haven't made any future project yet. But it didn't matter, we knew we were meant to be together, that we would get married and have a family, it was the way it was supposed to be. We both wanted a big family anyways.

I have to admit that I was a bit thrown off when I learned I was going to have a girl. I always thought my first born would be a son. Being a tomboy myself, it only seems fitting that I was to be raising sons. It scared me, although I would never admit it to John. Catherine helped me a lot; she really is like a mom to me. So we had our future all planned, the house, the kids, getting married (I kept waiting for John to finally get down on his knee) both our careers. Everything was perfect.

Soon enough, we all settled inside to watch John's match on the giant screen he proudly bought his parents for such occasions. I can barely remember the night; everybody was so excited, including my little Kaysee pointing at her dad whenever he was on TV. We had to watch her closely, because she would crawl to the TV to get a closer look at her daddy.

Of course, like I suspected, this was a big night for my John, and he finally won a big championship of some sort. I swear I try to keep track of the names, but it is not easy. We all cheered and clapped after it was done and then John grabbed a microphone and tried to silence the crowd to say something. I never saw the knowing look that passed between his parents.

"Alright, alright, alright guys. I need to get serious here. I want to say HI to all my family back home, I know they're watching. But most importantly, I have two special ladies waiting for me and I want to say something."

I held my breath as he took a deep breath himself and stared at the camera, I felt as if he was really here, talking to me.

"Alex, before I say what I have to say, I need you to do something for me OK?"

I nodded, forgetting he couldn't see me. I heard a few chuckles in the living-room and held Kaysee closer to me as she kept trying to touch the TV screen.

"Ok, sweetheart, I know you're not going to be happy with me because of this, but this is necessary. Turn around my Xandra"

As I turned around to see all my family grinning at me, I saw the camera crew who were making their way in the already crowded living room. I sighed and bit my lips, but couldn't help smiling at Kaysee's excitement. And John's face just lit up when he got a glance at us. I could deal with this for a little while.

Of course there was the cheering of the crowd as he introduced us and waved at his daughter. But then my man got his "serious" look on his face and I braced myself. He wouldn't announce anything bad on national TV, would he? Not without preparing me first if this was anything to do with his career. I put my nervous smile on and hugged Kaysee closer, as she kept babbling and waving at the TV.

"Babygirl, don't be nervous, trust me, we love each other, and nothing bad's going to happen. I promised myself I would do this as soon as I won the title. I want us to be a family, in every possible way."

My eyes filled with tears and I forgot about the camera watching my every move with the love of my life got down on his knee and the crowd erupted. Was he really about to ask what I thought he was? As he just stared at me, waiting for the crowd to calm down, I could tell he was as nervous as I was, and I smiled at him, tilting my head to the side. Everything was going to be fine, just like he said, we loved each other and we were already a family, in more ways than one.

"Alex?"

"Yes, John?" I barely breathed the words.

"Before I say what I want to say, my father has something to give you."

I looked around me, where a black velvet box was handed to me. A very ancient velvet box. This couldn't be?

I looked at John, scared to open it, and Catherine took the opportunity to steal my baby from my shaky arms. I breathed a sigh of relief. John kept staring at the screen.

"Yes sweetie, you know what this is already, open it"

I lifted the cover, to find old Mrs. Cena's engagement ring, the famous family heirloom I've heard about all my life. Every Cena woman for the past 5 generations has been offered this ring, and although this family had many boys, I was the one to get it? I didn't even notice when the tears started running down my cheeks.

"Honey, we chose you to have the ring, because you have always been part of our family, we just want to make it official, finally. So here it goes: I promise to love you all my life and cherish our children and to protect you until my last breath and to tie you to your second family, to make it truly your own, for as long as you should live. Xandra, my love, will you marry me?"

My parents and brothers all circled me, when all I could do was nod, and several hands helped me put the ring on my finger, amazed that it would fit so perfectly. I took a deep breath and smiled with all my heart at the man that changed my life.

"Yes honey, I should be honored to marry you." Smirking at his somewhat relieved smile, and ignoring the roars of the crowd in the background.

"There is only one thing though, I'd like to have the wedding next summer, if you can hold on for that long."

"Anything you want Sweetie, but why? I can't wait for you to be Mrs. Cena?"

"Well, I thought you might want your son to be part of the ceremony, he could keep Kaysee company…"

Everyone in the room gasped, except Catherine of course, who had be eyeing me knowingly for a couple of weeks already.

"Whaaaat? Do you mean that? You're pregnant? Oh my god!"

"Yes, John, you're going to be a dad again, and it's a boy."

_**The end….**_

**_A/n: Thank you so much to everyone who took the time to read this little story. I know it took forever, but I did promise to finish it, with a happy ending too :) And remember, reviews keep me alive ;) I'll go work on the next few chapters of Trouble in babysitting now, if anyone still cares..._**

**_Milou_**


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